restlessness

hy guys :)

I'm having prob with a friend. Y'know, both love and hate have a same feeling. It's oppressing, makes your heart unwell, restless. But they're still different, love means happiness, hate means sadness, hatred. And maybe I'm in the second option condition. I shouldn't hate her that much. I swear, i shouldn't. And it's making me nauseous, making me sick of her. And when i heard that she'll move to another school, I was so happy. At last she's vanish. But, that's not a right thing to feel. Nobody's perfect, i know that. But why am i still this stubborn to acknowledge it? It means the problem is in me!

I have to learn to have a forgiving heart, no matter how big the hatred is. I need a self introspection. God please help me. o:)

have a nice day folks! 

xxx